It’s true. I do. I love my hot shot. And while he may or may not be in fire forever, right now that is his passions and I fully intend to support him the way he has always supported me!
Before you go and get any ideas, this is NOT a glamorous or easy role. Yes, he’s a firefighter, and that is SEXY as hell. Personally I think he’s the sexiest man I have ever had the opportunity to lay my eyes on! But I am biased 😉 and I digress.
I remember before this fire season him telling me ‘we are gonna get into deep water.’ Was he ever right! It took me a few times of him coming home to truly get the hang of how to handle and adapt to his crazy lifestyle. Luckily, I am a teacher, so for a decent chunk of the weeks he works I have off. It’s harder during the part of fire season that overlaps the school year, but we make it work. A few things I have learned that I am grateful to have learned – and maybe this info will come in handy in other people’s relationships as well.
1. Leave the drama at home. But really… just don’t start it, don’t deal with it, and don’t bring it into your man’s life. In Carl’s line of work things can get really bad really fast and the last thing he needs weighing on his mind is a stupid fight we had because I couldn’t just let it go. Granted, I normally do not have much to fuss over (he is very sweet and gives his all even when he’s out working) but STILL. What use is it yelling at him or berating over text message for some small insignificant thing? It’s not. i’d rather he just have hit wits about him – especially because he runs a chainsaw for a living. Yep, a chainsaw. I’d rather him come home in one piece than have the last word or final say about anything! Now this doesn’t mean I don’t stand my ground, but before the season started we really just worked and nurtured out relationship. I have learned to let go the silly things that really don’t make a difference in the end. I’d rather have a solid relationship than have the last word in a petty argument. The truth is, my man works hard, and deserves love and affection and support. He ives me the same things back. Will we have disagreements? Yes, we will. No one is perfect. but focusing on a bond of mutual respect and trust… DAMN. That is a match made to last.
2. I don’t whine about how much I miss him. I don’t send him messages that say “i miss you babe I can’t wait to see you” or “when are you coming home” or “how many more days do you have left until you get r&r.” First… he usually doesn’t even know when he’s coming home. Example: on the 4th, he called me at 10am, said they had one day off, he had to be back at 4am the next day to leave for another fire. He didn’t even know he was getting a day off until that day! Ha! So, no use in expecting him to answer my questions. Also, he doesn’t need a whiny little girl who is desperate for his attentions at home. I am a grown as woman – I have my own friends, my own hobbies, my own life, and plenty o things to keep my occupied while he is gone. Of course I miss him… but he isn’t my WHOLE world so my world keeps going even when he’s gone. I’d rather focus on enjoying my life, and enjoying the days off he does get, and just get back to it. Because that’s life. What a concept. Instead, I send him pictures, jokes, updates, links to funny things I find, etc. I keep it light, I keep him involved, and i don’t bog him down with the emotional crap – although I have been known to send a drunken yet coherent profession of my love for him (which makes him chuckle the next morning – especially since these are things he already knows 😉 )
3. I don’t tell him what to do. He is going to fight fire whether I like it or not. It makes him happy – so he’s gonna do it. I can either get on board or get out of his life and I knew I wanted to be a part of his life so I made my peace with it so THERE. No ifs ands or buts. We don’t know what the next phase is, but right now he’s a wildland firefighter and he needs my support and love. Done.
4. I appreciate the small things he does. To me it is a huge deal when he takes the time to text me good morning, good night, send me a picture, or call me when they are bedding down for the night, or just hold a conversation if they are traveling in the buggies. It’s all he can do so I appreciate every last ounce of effort he puts forth for me. I always have said that as long as you are giving it your all, I am happy. And sometimes the definition of what ‘all’ is changes as life goes on and situations evolve. So right now he gives his all and I am damn proud of him for stepping up and being such a good boyfriend. And I tell him I appreciate it and don’t take any of his efforts for granted and that makes him feel happy too.
These are all things I am going to work to carry over into our relationship in the off-season. I feel that these are principals that every relationship could and SHOULD benefit from… 1) no drama 2) no whining 3) no bossing around 4) appreciation. Done.
This may have not been the most eloquent of posts. This is mostly me just putting into words things I have been recognizing over the previous weeks so I hope you can take from it what you can 🙂
Fit, Sweet, and Sassy! 